Ok, so you’re looking for the best GLO calling Tariff plan yes?
And I’m guessing, just guessing, you’re having a feeling that the current plan you’re on is unjustly “sucking you dry”.
Well, time to stop being exploited.
Let’s quickly take a look, a critical look, at all the GLO tariff plans available in the country at the moment and see which plans are worth subscribing to.
Specifically, we’d be looking at the call rates for all their plans to see if what they are calling a “deal” is actually a deal.
Let’s do this …
Glo Tariff Plans in Nigeria
I do not know about your area, but over here where I live, there’s this consensus that “GLO is the cheapest for making phone calls in Nigeria”
Heard something like that too?
Well, it’s crap.
Wanna know which network provider actually has the cheapest calling offering in the country always?
Join “the inner circle” …
For GLO, these are the reasonable plans available …
If I were an active GLO subscriber, this tariff plan would be the one for me.
On level grounds with the next tariff plan, Bounce is not the cheapest, but the wisest.
You’d get to understand in a bit. For now, these are what you should be expecting if you are considering migrating to this plan:
National Calls are Charged at ₦9/min.
Specifically, calls to other networks. If you’re looking to chat with peeps who are also GLO customers, you get an even better deal …
GLO to GLO = ₦6.6/min
Crazy amazing right?
Well, that’s not the full story.
You only get to enjoy those rates after your first minute of the day. And like you’re probably guessing right now, the first-minute charge is way more expensive.
Wanna know how much?
I’ll tell you.
But before I do, remember you’re only paying this amount for the first minute.
Also, remember that this amount would be charged for the first minute of each day — no day off.
Alright, you understand this now, so, here …
For the first 60 seconds you talk on bounce, you’d pay ₦24 — that’s 40k/s.
After that, you’d start enjoying the other rates which I described above.
So let’s put this into perspective quickly…
Assuming you recharge your line with a hundred naira, exactly how long can you talk for (to other networks) before your airtime’s tank is on “E”?
Put on your thinking caps and tell me.
Did you get 9 minutes, 26 seconds, 40 milliseconds?
Did you get that?
Damn, God bless your maths teacher!
If you didn’t, which kind school you go? 😛
If you did not even attempt to do it, three “Gboza” for you. — You’re smart.
You knew I’d eventually give it to you 😉 “Your head is there” (Someone should please comment that Yoruba term for that — Ori ‘e o … something something)
Alright, enough kidding, you now know exactly how long you can talk for on GLO bounce with just ₦100 — 9.5 minutes.
To Join GLO Bounce,
You’re not a fan of first-minute charges?
Have a look at the next tariff. There’s no such thing as that on there.
GLO GBAM Plus (11k/s prepaid plan)
This tariff plan is supposed to be the best, but a few kinks mar this beautiful offering. We’ll get to them kinks in a bit, first here’s what you get for being on this plan.
First off …
No first-minute charges.
That’s what I hated about the previous plan. On this tariff, you’re charged EXACTLY the same rates from your first minute of the day … to your last.
Speaking of rates …
GLO – GLO is ₦6.6/min
Right from your very first second, that’s what you’d be charged to talk to other GLO customers.
Don’t have GLO customers on your contact list?
Other Networks — ₦9/min
Remember, from the very first minute.
Now, should we run that exercise we did earlier again?
Probably not. I’ll just go ahead and give you the numbers (I know book pass you *tongue out*)
But before I do that, remember those “few kinks” I talked about at the beginning of this section?
Well, it’s just one mighty annoying kink, which is …
To enjoy those rates, you’d have to pay a daily access fee of ₦5.
A voice in my head just said this …
“Just ₦5? No wahala!”
Hold on now, champ. You should know that this ₦5 would be charged Every. Single. Day.
Whether or not you make calls for that day is none of GLO’s business. Their own is to just collect the ₦5 at dawn.
So, if you are on this plan and you have, say, ₦500 on a GLO SIM you left idle for a month, when you pop that SIM into your device, you’ll meet just ₦350.
Just needed you to be clear on that.
Now, the maths …
₦100 on here would get you 10 minutes 33 seconds to other networks.
To Subscribe …
Hate daily access charges and first-minute charges?
See the next plan.
Are you the kind of person that LOVES huge figures? Them bonus upon bonus kind of numbers?
Come, sit down. This is the place for you.
Good. Now listen to this …
On GLO Bumpa, you’d be slammed 200% bonus on every single recharge right from ₦100.
What this means is, when you recharge your line with just ₦100, what you’d have is ₦300 (i.e your ₦100 + 200% of it).
For a recharge of ₦200 — ₦600
₦500 — ₦1500
Like that, like that.
The given bonuses, however, will not be credited to your main account but a “bonus” account which can be accessed by dialing #122*2#
Now, the sad part …
Calls made on Bumpa would be charged at the rate of 55 kobo per second (₦33/min) which means that the ₦300 you get when you recharge your line with a ₦100 would only last you 9 minutes and 5 seconds.
Still want to sit on that mat?
Haha! Thought so.
If you love the mat though, you can subscribe to GLO Bumpa by …
Now, let’s look at even bigger things …
You hated the previous mat because it was gold plated and not actual gold right?
Well, I’m coming, let me get another.
*spreads a different
There are diamonds on this one.
Sit, let’s look for them together.
GLO Jollific8 offers you 800 crazy % on every single recharge you make on this tariff.
With that, a recharge of ₦100 translates to around ₦800.
₦500 — ₦4,000!
This should definitely be where you reside right?
Well, you know, WRONG!
First off, if you are already a GLO customer, you cannot get on this plan — it’s impossible — unless you get yourself a new GLO SIM.
Because GLO Jollific8 is exclusive to new customers.
Then, remember this adage? …
“All that glitters is not gold”
… truer words have never been said, because, with the rates you’re charged on this plan, all those hefty bonuses vanish as swiftly as they came in.
Here’s what I mean …
All national calls (both to GLO customers and other networks) are charged at a “meager” 67k/s — ₦40.20 per minute — so ₦800 evaporates in 20 minutes.
That voice is speaking again …
“₦100 for 20 minutes? That’s a good deal, Kay!”
Good deal abi?
But do you remember this other adage? …
“Don’t judge a book by its cover”
It’s also spot on for that 800% bonus.
See this …
That’s from GLO’s official website (here’s a link).
Are you seeing what I’m seeing?
From the ₦800 supposed bonus, about ₦450 is locked to rapping with GLO customers only.
If still, you’re cool with all these, getting on GLO Jollific8 is super easy — Just become a new GLO customer.
I am tired of ranting.
You’ve seen the plans, you decide the one you want to be on.
Did I miss a plan?
Let me know by commenting.
Have something to say?
Make a comment.
Till n’xt time.